MMG14: Types of Grief: Masked Grief

That’s an excerpt from the show. Today, we’ll  be discussing masked grief, and, here’s the intro.

Intro

I’m glad you chose to join me for this discussion on Masked Grief. At the end of the show I’ll have a “So, what to do?” section where I’ll share ideas and strategies you can use to work through Masked Grief. 

Did you know that there are many types of grief? 

Death alone is challenging to grieve, but there are other losses that occur after losing companionship, such as changes in family roles, financial changes, and loss of dreams of what could be. Keep in mind that the type of grief we’ll be discussing isn’t “good” or “bad,” it’s a mere way for you to identify what you are experiencing. When you understand what you are experiencing, it can be used as a grounding place and it can bring normalcy to the experience, which in itself is gratifying and beneficial. 

Masked Grief  is when you are unable to recognize that your symptoms and behaviors are related to loss. Symptoms are often masked as either physical symptoms or other maladaptive behaviors.

I like how GriefRecoveryMethod.com explained it, “The human body is designed to be a processing center. We consume and process food to create energy and to fuel our various organs. If we consume more food than necessary, our body stores it as fat. Too much of this fat storage can have negative consequences for our overall health. Likewise, the body is designed to process our emotional experiences. If we suppress, store and mask those emotions deep inside, this can result in negative consequences for our general health as well.

There are consequences of stuffing sad emotions.

When you continually stuff these feelings of emotional pain, rather than putting voice to them, your body tend to send you signals that they are not happy. Some people get headaches, while others respond with intestinal issues and ulcers.”

As a mental health therapist, I’ve seen that quite frequently. A person has physical symptoms, they go to their primary care doctor who runs tests after tests, after test, after tests, but can’t find anything wrong. Thankfully, in recently years, through collaboration and discussion, medical doctors have realized and most have accepted that when a patient comes into their office with a physical ailment and they are unable to identify the underlying cause, they will refer them to me, a mental health therapist. Many of my clients have come to me via referrals from their primary care doctor, because the doctor understands that those physical ailments may be the result of emotional suppression.

In a previous show I mentioned a guy name Chris. He was a senior in college. A few months before graduating, his mother died. A few weeks later his appetite changed and a few more weeks later he developed an eating disorder. 

Fast forward to a year, Chris decided to get help from his primary care doctor who then referred him to a mental health therapist who specializes in eating disorders. The specialist used a behavioral approach to supporting Chris. The eating disorder specialist gives Chris all the tools needed to learn to live a healthier life, but realizes that the underlining cause of Chris’ eating disorder are the suppressed emotions he has from his mother’s death. 

The last time Chris showed mourning was when he cried upon entering the house for the first time after his mother died, which was over a year ago. The eating disorder specialist decided to refer Chris to a mental health therapist who specializes in grief. As Chris begins to work through his grief, his eating disorder symptoms worsen. Thankfully, he remembers the skills he learned while receiving eating disorder services and was able to utilize them during his grief healing process.